White Flag
by CaRiNeSs
Summary: Song-fic. Post Spirit Bound. Random thoughts that came up while listening to music. 3rd chapter up...Dimitri's POV about his thoughts on Rose and how he is figuring out that maybe they can be together afterall.
1. White Flag

This is a song-fic that kinda came to me when I was listening to music. It's kind of funny how every sone I listen to is about Vampire Academy now! I hope you like it... I know it could be better though!

I own nothing...song is Dido - White Flag

I am working on my Stop Being a Coward fic...hope to post later today...

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White Flag

**_I know you think that I shouldn't still love you _**

**_I'll tell you that_**

**_But if I didn't say it_**

**_Well, I'd still have felt it_**

**_Where's the sense in that?_**

**_I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder_**

**_Or return to where we were_**

"I still love you." Tears welled up in my eyes as I look at the man who had once loved me back, my words attempting to reach some part of him that still loved me too.

"Rose, we've been over this. Why must you keep saying that? You will get over it, I know you will." Dimitri replied, his guardian mask firmly in place. The first few times he had told me that, I has seen pain and regret in his eyes if only for a second but now he was getting better at hiding the pain. Or maybe he was really starting to believe it, I wasn't sure which.

"I have to say it, because it's true. Even if I didn't say it then I would still feel that way so what is the point in trying to lie to either of us?" I broadly told him, blinking in an attempt to get rid of the tears before they managed to spill down my cheeks.

"I know you don't love my anymore. I promise I'm not trying to make things hard for either of us or even trying to get you back Dimitri. I just had to tell you one last time. I won't ever stop loving you." With that being said, I turned and abruptly left the room. I had been surprised he had let me inside of his suite in guest housing at the Royal Court anyway but I guess since there were people in the hall, he didn't want to make a scene.

**_Well I will go down with this ship_**

**_And I won't put my hands up and surrender_**

**_There will be no white flag above my door_**

**_I'm in love and always will be_**

I ran down the hallway towards my own room as I finally let the tears go. There was no use in hiding them from myself when I knew they were there. I knew to the deepest part of my soul that I would always love Dimitri. I knew that he was the only person that really got me and even though I had never believed in soul mates, I knew Dimitri was mine. I would never give up on him. He would always be my one true love. I lay down on my bed once I reached my room and cried. I cried for my heart break, cried for the man I had lost, and cried for the future we would never have now.

**_I know I left too much mess and destruction to come back again_**

**_And I caused nothing but trouble_**

**_I'll understand if you can't talk to me again_**

**_And if you live by the rules of it's over_**

**_Then I'm sure that that makes sense_**

I rolled out of bed a while later and walked down to get something to eat. My stomach was growling and I needed food. As I was stepping into the café, I noticed Dimitri sitting at a table by himself, reading one of his books and sipping a cup of hot chocolate.

I got two glazed donuts and a cup of hot chocolate and quietly made my way over to him. I knew he could tell when I walked in the door. We had his uncanny ability to detect each other's presence even in a room filled with people.

"I want to make peace. I am sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have bothered you." I said as I stood by his table, not wanting to sit down across from him. "I know that I have really screwed things up and that we probably can't even be friends now. I shouldn't have gone after you in Russia, I have made a mess of everything and I really am sorry. I know that I am nothing but trouble and all I seem to do is cause you pain. I get it Comrade, I really do. I understand that you don't want to talk to me or see me anymore."

**_I will go down with this ship_**

**_And I won't put my hands up and surrender_**

**_There will be no white flag about my door_**

**_I'm in love and always will be_**

I turned and walked away from him for the last time. I knew that I still loved him and that wasn't going to go away. I would always be in love with Dimitri Belikov.

**_And when we meet_**

**_Which I'm sure we will_**

**_All that was there_**

**_Will be there still_**

**_I'll let it pass_**

**_And hold my tongue _**

**_And you will think _**

**_That I've moved on_**

Three weeks later I was in a ball room wearing a beautiful gown. The top was a white sequined tube top that flowed down into a full skirt that was black with just a hint of a train. It wasn't something that I would have usually worn but Adrian had insisted since I was his date to the Queen's dinner party. Lissa was going to be there as well and I had allowed her to do my makeup and curl my hair into long wavy tendrils that I knew Dimitri would love.

He was there of course in his usual guardian attire, working for the night. I had been avoiding him for as long as I could but I knew that I would see him tonight no matter what. The second I laid eyes on him my heart stopped. He was even more amazing than I had remembered. I caught his eyes for just a moment before I turned way and smiled at Adrian who was coming up to take my hand.

I was very careful not to let my emotions be seen through any part of me. I wore my guardian mask well as I smiled and pretended my heart was not breaking for the millionth time in the last few weeks. I knew he couldn't tell. Somewhere along the way I had figured out how to shield my feelings from him. Hopefully he would think that I had moved on.

The party was fun but I was relieved when it was time to leave. Dimitri and I didn't talk the entire night and had only made eye contact that one time. I could however feel his eyes watching me while I smiled and flirted with Adrian but never once did he acknowledge my presence. Neither did I. I guess we would always be this way now. He no longer wanted me.

As I lay in bed that night I thought again about how much I loved Dimitri. I would never love anyone like I loved him. I would continue to live and be the best person I could be but Dimitri would always be my other half. I would not surrender those feelings. I couldn't, they were too much a part of my soul.

**_I will go down with this ship_**

**_And I won't out my hands up and surrender_**

**_There will be no white flag above my door_**

**_I'm in love and always will be._**

I, Rose Hathaway, will always love you, Dimitri Belikov.

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Well? Please review!


	2. Till You Love Me

Okay, so I decided to write another chapter for this fic...Another song, another chapter. There might be more...not sure...

The song is Till You Love Me by Reba McEntire. Basically the first chapter was White Flag, Rose was going to suffer in silence while she still loved Dimitri. Now she had decided she would step up her game a little till Dimitri returns her love.

No Beta and I own nothing...

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Till You Love Me

I watched from the shadow of an ancient oak tree as Dimitri picked up the precious flower that I had left on the top of a tree stump that I knew he would come to. It was the same scene that played out every night around this time; I would leave a single red rose on the forest stoop where he would come to think every night.

The first night he had been surprised and obviously thought the rose was left by some other observer. But as the days had continued, the intent and purpose of the gift had become clear. He had been coming out to the mellow clearing every night for the past month at the same time just before sunrise and while he thought he had escaped the fast paced life of the Moroi court without notice I had picked up on his disappearance upon the first detour from his daily rituals.

**_I sent you roses, I warned you I would  
Do all that I could to show you the way that I feel  
Please, don't say I'm wasting my time  
I've got nothin' but time so I'll do all that I can to catch  
That ghost of a chance_**

The catalyst for his journey was me of course. I had once again confronted him about no longer loving me. I had asked him how his love could fade when mine had only grown stronger with distance. We had kept way from each other for months after he had told me that his love had faded and while he could pretend he wasn't affected by seeing me daily across the hustle and bustle of the world we lived in, I couldn't and had finally broke in a true Rose fashion.

We were in a meeting with the liaison between the Moroi Royal Court and Lissa about her role in the moroi government when I had snapped. Seeing him from across the room every single day was wearing my defenses then and something about the way his eye caught mine for a miniscule second when another guardian had smiled at me at sent me over the edge. I hadn't even known who the guardian was but the flash of something in Dimitri's eyes that I had seen, even if only for a moment, had been my downfall and my lifeline at the same time.

In that brief glimpse into the person he used to be before he had been turned Strigoi, I saw my old Dimitri again: my mentor, my friend, and my lover. The person that I had known at one point in time that I would spend the rest of my life with instead of the hollow shell he had masqueraded as since his return to his dhampir self.

That brief peep into his soul had spoken directly to mine and I knew that if I didn't call him on what I had seen at that very moment, I would lose him forever. He had been so guarded, so cautious about never displaying his feelings that this uncharacteristic peek into his feelings had set me in motion before I had time to ponder what exactly I was doing. Throwing caution to the wind as I was known for, I had walked up to him and stood tall. "I'm still in love with you and I know you love me too," had been my instant response over the parliamentary procedure that had been going on around us.

Guardians were meant to been seen and not heard so that fact that I was practically yelling into the enormous room at another guardian no less about matters of the heart was a shock. I hadn't realized it at the time but the floor had just been cleared and they were calling for a judge, a Paula something or another as I wasn't sure since I hadn't been paying attention to the proceedings, to the front to speak about the action the council was wanting to take in regards to the new laws that had been passed the previous week. The floor had quieted to allow the judge to speak when I yelled out my declaration leaving a stunned moroi and dhampir population to turn and stare at me.

My eyes were trained upon Dimitri's but he seemed to be in as much shock at my words as everyone else in the room was. He was so in shock that he didn't object when I grabbed his arm, pulling him out of the room and away from the judging eyes of our leaders.

Once in the hallway, he stared at me with a blank expression. His eyes and face wasn't guarded or covered in his guardian mask as it usually was but was so void of emotion that I still couldn't read what he was feeling. For a moment the world stood still between the two of us as our eyes met. What could have been seconds or hours later, his face betrayed his thoughts and a look of pain spread into his normally beautiful and stoic features.

"I thought you were over this Rose." Dimitri's voice was steady but weak, an imitation of the strong form it usually held.

"No, I am not over this. I will never be over this Dimitri. I am in love with you, always have been and always will be." The power in my voice surprised me as I poured my heart out to him.

He flinched and then quietly responded, "I told you how I felt. Nothing has changed, nothing is going to change." With those words said he abruptly turned and walked away, leaving me staring at the space he had previously occupied. I had thought that I had gotten though to him. Obviously I was wrong.

I knew he loved me too though; it was just lost in everything else he was going through at the time. "I'm not giving up Dimitri, you will love me again!" I had yelled after his retreating form as he once again walked out of my life.

That night I had dreamed about him. I dreamed about my Dimitri, the one I had caught a brief glance of. I knew he was still in there and as I awoke the next morning, I knew that my dreams of what our life could be had given me a new resolve in my determination to get him back. We would be together again, I was sure of it.

**_The sunlight, the moonlight  
Are beyond my control  
And there are stars in the heavens  
That I'll never hold  
But if dreams give you power  
Then I'm strong enough to offer my heart  
And never give up till you love me  
Till you love me_**

Two days later I once again noticed that he had disappeared just after Lissa and Christian had retired for the night. Two days in a row he hadn't gone to the gym for his normal workout routine that he had always been a slave to.

The next night I had followed him. I was pretty sure he hadn't known that I was following him as he went to a spot just inside of the forest that lined the edges of the place we called home. This place seemed to bring him peace as he looked into the trees that surrounded court. Night after night was the same routine. He would go to this clearing and just sit there with a look of serenity gracing his normally blank expression. Sometimes though, I was positive that a tortured look flashed across his face but it would be gone rather quickly. I knew he came out here to think and make peace with his demons. It was a place of solitude that I almost felt guilty about intruding on. It was as if I was a voyeur, watching him work through his emotions in his head but I didn't care. This time alone seemed to help him.

**_I looked in your eyes, so bright and so blue  
And that's when I knew that you could be mine  
If good things come to those who will wait  
Well, I guess I can wait if that's what I have to do  
Oh, it's worth it for you_**

After a few days of watching his new routine, I decided to change things up a bit. I left a single red rose laying on the stoop he usually perched upon. It was a reminder that I was there for him should he need me and a reminder that I still loved him and wasn't giving up. They say that good things come to those who wait and he was definatley a good thing. He was worth all the time in the world.

He had come to expect the delicate flower and would usually smell it briefly before setting it aside. He would always take it with him though, never leaving it behind. Maybe it was his way of being close to me and maybe it was just a reaction to a gift, I wasn't sure which. What I was sure of was that I would continue to do this until he broke. I would give him subtle reminders of our love in any way I could. I wouldn't push the subject just yet though, I didn't want to send him running for the hills and undo any progress we might have made.

**_The sunlight, the moonlight  
__Are beyond my control  
__And there are stars in the heavens  
__That I'll never hold  
__But if dreams give you power  
__Then I'm strong enough to offer my heart  
__And never give up till you love me  
__Till you love me_**

I had once believed that I could leave him to his own devices and suffer in silence. I thought that I could mask my love for him while never truly giving up on it. I had known that I would always love him but I thought it was useless.

As the days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months, I was glad I had decided to be bolder in my approach, no matter how subtle it seemed to everyone around me. My thoughts, hopes, and dreams of the future were all it took to give me strength. He would be mine again; after all, I would always be his.

**_Oh the sunlight, the moonlight  
Are beyond my control  
And there are stars in the heavens  
That I'll never hold  
But if dreams give you power  
Then I'm strong enough to offer my heart  
Oh and never give up till you love me  
Till you love me  
__Til you love me_**

So as I sat in the shadows of that oak that had become a companion to me for the countless nights I had visited it. I knew I was doing the right thing. I knew he would eventually see that I was not going to give up. While others might have thought me foolish, there was no way I could turn from our love. I knew that someday, he would love me again in the open, instead of just hiding it away and whether it was next week, next month, or next year, I was prepared to wait.

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So? Did you like it? When I find a song that that goes after this I will write a final chapter. Any suggestions, let me know. Thanks! Please review and read my other stories if you haven't!


	3. Her Man

Both of the last two chapters were from Rose's POV. This one is from Dimitr's POV.

The song is _Her Man_ by Gary Allan. Sorry I didn't update Stop Being a Coward! again tonight but this one shot has been calling to me for a while so I wrote and posted it. I don't have school tomorrow so I will write a new chapter of that story.

I don't own Vampire Academy or the song and everything is Unbeta'd...

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Her Man

It had one year, three months, four days and countless hours, minutes and seconds since I had turned back into a dhampir from the soulless life of a Strigoi. Very slowly I was becoming the man I use to be. I still didn't believe that I deserved a happy life after all the terrible things I had done but I am selfish and started thinking that maybe I could have one.

Rose was amazing. Every night for the past eleven months she had left a rose on the stump where I went to think. Every night I went to that place of solitude after Lissa and Christian had gone to bed. Christian was now my charge, as the 'dhampir turned Strigoi' stigma didn't really affect him since he has his own 'my parents turned Strigoi' stigma to deal with.

No one questioned the logic when I was reassigned to him. No one knew exactly why I was assigned to him as neither Tasha nor Christian had been assigned guardians before that. I did however make sure that no one knew the real reason I was chosen as his guardian but the truth was because I had requested to be. After becoming a dhampir again and having to prove myself worthy of the title 'Guardian', I hadn't had a charge assigned to me and doubted that I would anytime soon. I could have gone anywhere or done anything (short of being a Royal's guardian) but I wanted to be close to Rose without being too close to Rose so I had privately requested to be Christian's guardian after a private conversation with him. He had agreed to not tell Rose or Lissa or anyone and whether that was out of fear that I would hurt him or pride at having a guardian since he never thought he would have one, I wasn't sure.

That was the first shift in the ways I was doing things. After I started receiving roses from Rose, I thought she was crazy and that she would really get over me. But she had been persistent; any less stubborn woman would have given up much quicker. That was part of my reasoning in requesting to be Christian's guardian.

Other things changed in my behavior as well. I would laugh from time to time at Rose's antics or at her and Christian's petty arguments. I had tried to remain neutral but it somehow didn't work. Christian and Lissa would go out together on 'dates' and drag me and Rose along as their guardians. At first I would stand back and watch the room, never interacting or talking to them and keeping my eyes as far away from Rose as was possible. After a while of being strictly in guardian mode though, they had convinced me to relax a little and our outings had become sort of fun. I still remained fairly rigid in my guardian persona but since we were on court grounds, I let up from time to time and actually had fun.

Despite how Rose and I had somehow managed to become friends, I could tell she was still sad when she looked at me. There was something in her eyes that she tried successfully to hide from everyone except me. She couldn't fool me. She never called me out how on she felt or told me again but her actions told me daily as she religiously put the roses in the small clearing I went to every night. I knew she followed me most of the time but I never acknowledged her being around. That was part of the reason why I only dealt with my emotions on the inside and left my face emotionless on the outside. Somehow, being with Rose had turned from a struggle to a need and being with her once again brought me more peace then my clearing or being in church combined.

**I'm gonna change my ways of 'doin things around here**  
**I'm turning over a new leaf ,gonna get my self in gear**  
**'Cause I've got a women who's better then most,**  
**and I've made a mess of her plains**  
**Starting today ,all I'm gonna be is her man**

I was Strigoi for goodness sake. I did terrible things not only to Rose but also to innocent people. I took lives and killed because I wanted to, it brought me a sick, twisted sense of joy to do it and I didn't care. There was not such thing as a conscious since I didn't have a soul.

While I was Strigoi I held Rose captive and abused her body with my selfish needs. I didn't know how to love her then, just how to use her for my own pleasure because she was something my body needed. She was like a drug to me and seeing her with my heightened eyesight and better senses was overwhelming. She was even more beautiful that my human eyes had ever seen her.

When she escaped, I coveted her body and soul and didn't want to rest until she was mine. Her doing that only proved how much of my equal she was and made me want her that much more. I was proud of how strong and brave she could be. I needed to be with her and so I stalked her and played with her, vowing to myself that we would be together forever. Not only did I send her notes to taunt her but I also stalked her. I had people to watch her in different places both inside and outside of Court and while they were in Vegas that could watch her during the day. I created a shrine of sorts with pictures of ever step she took while we were apart, of everyday that I wasn't within sight of her.

When I became a dhampir again, I was disgusted with myself and with the lengths I had gone to to be around Rose. That was why I had told her I didn't love her and had stayed away from her. She had refused to stay away though and I hated her for it at the time. She was like my own demon mocking me every time I looked at her. She was a constant reminder to what I had done not only to her but also to the countless victims that her presence represented. She was the only one who had escaped my wrath.

It slowly has gotten easier to be around her. Not once has a look of disgust crossed her face or hatred filled her eyes. She has never blamed me for what I did to her while I was Strigoi. Those things she had forgotten the moment the soul was returned to my body. I knew that I would never be able to forgive myself but something about that pain that had become such a permanent fixture in her eyes was wearing down my resolve. I was hurting her more by not loving her and only being her friend that I ever did as Strigoi. It had taken me a ridiculous amount of time to figure that out but it was true and I was going to make it right if it was the last thing I did.

_**'Cause I've been a wild catter, and a go-go getter  
Been an S.O.B. right down to the letter  
I've had misadventures, I've even got pictures  
I'm even more than I can stand  
But startin` today, all I'm gonna be is her man  
**_

I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that if I tried to get back with her she would be more than willing. She has ignored every other man who has come up to her during this whole time. She even finally got through to Adrian about their relationship being strictly friends.

For her to be able to forgive me and forget about everything that I have put her though is so much more than I deserve. She is so strong and so beautiful that I am grateful that she is willing to give me another shot at forever. And that is what it will be with us, neither of us have any doubt; we will be together forever if we can just get to that point.

Forever use to be a scary word to me but now I realize that forever is every single day that passes. I am going to devote my life to making up everything bad thing I have ever done to her and then some. I told her once before that she would come before any moroi and somehow I had forgotten or given up on that as much as I tried not to. I thought I was doing what was right for her and putting her before me but it turns out I was just scared to face my demons. I was a coward. Today though, today is the day that I start to make it right.

**I'm gonna give it all back, cause all I've done is take**  
**Well I've put her on the back burner while I was out on the make**  
**But I've got a woman who's good enough to give me**  
**A second chance again**  
**And startin` today, all I'm gonna be is her man**

**'Cause I've been a wild catter, and a go-go getter**  
**Been an S.O.B. right down to the letter**  
**I've had misadventures, I've even got pictures**  
**I'm even more than I can stand**  
**But startin` today, all I'm gonna be is her man**

I asked Christian and Lissa if Rose and I could have the night off. She doesn't know it yet but I am going to ask her out on a date. I want to start slow and build back up to a relationship. Each day is a little bit easier and I have no doubt that we can make it to our forever if we are just patient. We have worked through it this far so I'm sure we can do it. Baby steps.

Nerves racked my body as she walked into the kitchen where I was making microwave popcorn. We were just sitting at Lissa and Christian's apartment in guest housing as we often did while they were watching a movie in the other room. I realized that this was my chance to ask her out and I wasn't going to miss it.

"Hey." I acknowledged her timidly. I hadn't asked a girl out in so long that I almost forgotten the gut wrenching feeling that accompanies that prospect of being rejected. I didn't think that Rose would reject me but I wasn't positive. She had always been polite in her rejects of others that even if she did reject me, I knew she would be kind in her words.

She smiled at me but it didn't quite meet her eyes and I once again felt a little pain in my heart for that small part of her spirit that I had somehow managed to destroy. "Hi," was her easy reply as she stepped past me to the fridge in search of a Coke to go with the salty popcorn. Normally I would tell her that she should drink water instead of the sugar and caffeine that the Coke would include but today I let it slide.

I almost missed my chance when I realized she had quickly turned and started walking towards the living room again to rejoin our moroi. "Wait," my voice seemed to hit a squeaky octave that I hadn't been capable of since I turned twelve.

"Yes?" was her simple response as she turned to look at me again.

I gulped and went for it. "I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go to dinner tonight, with me…." I trailed off, hoping she got the unspoken words of as my date.

Shock was obviously the first emotion on her face but it quickly turned into a beautiful smile as the corners of her soft pink lips quirked up just a bit. "That would be nice. But what about working tonight?"

"We both have off, I asked Lissa and Christian earlier if it would be alright. They are going to stay in anyway so they didn't mind."

"Okay then, I'd love to." She was almost shy in her reply. Maybe she was just being timid, not quite sure if this was real or not.

"Great." I replied, more confident now. "I will come by your room at 7 to pick you up." With that being said, I grabbed the now finished popcorn out of the microwave and walked out of the kitchen, leaving her with the most beautiful smile I have seen on her face in a long time gracing her lips. It was also amazing just how bright her eyes looked. I could still see caution in them and the light hadn't fully returned but they were noticeably brighter and I felt pride for being able to do that for her.

The rest of the afternoon passed by relatively quickly as Lissa and Christian watched more movies. Rose and I also watched the movies with them so it kind of felt like that was the first part to our date even though we were sitting on opposite sides of the couch.

Once five came around, Rose and I parted ways as Lissa and Rose went back to her apartment to get ready. I had heard them quietly talking about it in the kitchen when they both excused themselves to refill the popcorn bowl that I had just filled up. It made me a little nervous that she was taking this serious enough to get help getting ready but it made me feel good that she was excited about going to dinner with me.

I had been anxious and picked out my clothes the previous night as I was already trying to prepare for the evening both mentally and physically in hopes that she said yes. I immediately went home and took a shower. I then dressed in dark jeans with a white button up shirt and a black blazer. I had told her it would be a dressy casual restaurant but anything she wanted to wear would be fine.

Still having over an hour before I needed to head Rose's room, I sat down and tried to read one of my favorite Louis L'Amour books. They normally got my mind occupied and calmed me down but tonight they were just words that I couldn't concentrate on long enough to understand. My other option would be to go to the gym but I didn't have time to get all the way over there, work out, shower and then get back in time to pick up Rose. I did the only thing left and took a long silent walk through the court gardens, only getting lose in the maze of ferns once.

Fortunately I managed to take up just enough of my time that I had about fifteen minutes to get back to Rose's room and the walk there took at least ten minutes so I was right on time when I arrived outside of her door.

She answered promptly as if she had been waiting for me to get there. She really was a vision in a sundress made of a white eyelet material that tied behind her neck with small straps. Black sandals adorned her beautiful feet. It's funny how I had never really paid attention to her feet as they were usually in sneakers during training or black boots while we were in our guardian-wear. They were delicate and flawless with her toenails perfectly painted a deep read that worked well with her skin tone. Her hair was wild and flowing down her back in soft waves and she had a small black handbag clutched in her hand. She truly was stunning.

"You look incredible." I whispered, scared that if I spoke to loudly the magic would wear off and tonight would only be a dream.

"Thank you." She smiled, pulling the door shut behind her as we walked down the hallway.

As we walked towards the short flight of stairs that led to the lobby and front of the guardian housing, I reached over and took her hand in mine, intertwining our fingers loosely incase she wanted to pull away. Fortunately, she squeezed my fingers tighter and a small grin kissed her lips. I squeezed her hand back slightly as we headed off towards the restaurant.

Tonight was the beginning of the rest of our lives. I had finally gotten something right when it came to Rose and I was going to spend every day of forever trying to make sure that she knew how important she was to me. From this day forward she would come before everything. She would come before my life and my job. From this day forward, all I was going to be was her man.

**I'm a little bit late but I'm wisin` up**  
**Now I'm takin` her by the hand**  
**And startin` today, all I'm gonna be is her man**

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Did you like it? I will probably write another one shot or two to go with this story but I'm not sure when... I just write them as the mood strikes...please review and thanks so much in advance :)


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